


incredulously incredible

by Dresupi



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attraction, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis is Bruce Banner's Daughter, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Intergalactic Diplomat Darcy Lewis, Lust at First Sight, Minor Bruce Banner/Betty Ross, Minor Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Thor, Misunderstandings, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Romantic Comedy, Spoilers, Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Spoilers, Work In Progress, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-01-30 04:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12646491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: When Loki sees Darcy Lewis talk down the Hulk, he knows he has to meet her.  Little does he know that there is more to this slight Midgardian than meets the eye.Post Thor: Ragnarok, not entirely canon compliant.Hella spoilers if you haven't seen the movie yet.~On hiatus, not abandoned~





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leftennant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftennant/gifts), [AnnieMar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieMar/gifts), [amidtheflowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amidtheflowers/gifts).



> Sooooooo, I just saw Thor: Ragnarok two days ago and I'm back on board the tasertricks ship! WOOOOOOO! 
> 
> I've never written a long fic for these two before, and this one promises to be interesting, I hope? 
> 
> Not sure how many chapters, or really where I'm going with it, let's just see, shall we? <3 
> 
> A couple things: First off, No Brucenat, Bretty all the way. Second, no post credits scene Thanos. I'm sure there are other things too, but I cannot remember them at the moment. It's late and I'm POSTING A THING OMG. 
> 
> Dedicated to the ever wonderful Leftennant, Anniemar, and amidtheflowers, whose work in this ship inspired me to start writing my own Darcy fic to begin with all those years ago. <3 
> 
> Unbetaed, all mistakes are mine.

“Is  _ that _ the ship?” Darcy asked, tilting her head to watch its descent.  “What planet is that from?”  

Sif shook her head.  “I know not.  Heimdall informed me they’d be using the Bifrost, but I was afraid Hela would have beaten them there…it appears I was right.” She squinted.  “Is that a…  _ cruise _ ship?”  

“Your guess is as good as mine… the markings look like they’re from…”  

“Sakaar,” they both muttered.  

“If I have to deal with that idiot Grandmaster again, I swear to Thor…” Darcy muttered under her breath.  

“He would never come here… he only wants what he can control, and all he can control is chaos,” Sif assured her.  

“Well, that’s his trash ship, so I really hope you’re right…” Darcy replied, straightening her back and schooling her features.  Sif told her the action wasn’t necessary, that her title alone would put even the cruelest leader in line, but she still got hella nervous when she was talking to folks from other realms and planets.  

There was that one time when they’d been travelling with Peter and his band of misfits, and she’d had to pretend to be married to a tree for safe passage through a checkpoint.  Groot was a perfect gentle...gentletree, but it was still the weirdest day of her life.  

She very much preferred  _ this _ job, greeting newcomers to Earth.  To Terra, or to Midgard, depending on what they liked to call it.  

“Surely they wouldn’t book passage on a cruise ship, right?” she asked as the insanely large ship started to land.  

Sif pursed her lips, shaking her head. “No.  My lady, absolutely…” she trailed off.  “Not  _ absolutely _ not, but very close, Darcy.”  

She sighed.  “I will  _ not _ talk to the Grandmaster again.”  

“I don’t wish to speak to the man either.”  

“You’re my assistant, though.”  

Sif chuckled.  “You are the mouth, I am the muscle.  I could pound him into submission, but I fear he’d like that.”  

Darcy covered her face, collapsing into a fit of uncomfortable giggles.  “Sif, you’re the worst.”  

“It was my intention,” she countered, smirking a little as the ship approached the field they were standing in.  

It was a feat and a half, getting them out here.  The transmission had come in at three AM that morning, and after that, Darcy was on the phone, clearing airspace and organizing blackouts, so that the positively enormous ship could find a block of time to land.  

And of course now, it was taking it’s sweet-ass time getting to the ground.

Of course, now that she saw the full size of the thing, she could understand why it was so slow going.  At least the length of three football fields, and packed to the brim with Asgardians.    

She was excited to see Thor again.  She hadn’t seen him since she was still interning for Jane, long before she’d gotten her degree or her amazing new job as Intergalactic Diplomat.  

S.H.I.E.L.D had flat out created a new department for her, and she couldn’t have been more happy to take up the helm of their newest baby.  Lady Sif was by her side for the entire endeavor, and in the tall warrior, Darcy had found another close friend.  She still kept in touch with her former boss, of course, but Janey was off discovering the cosmos and winning awards.  Meanwhile, Darcy was busy meeting  _ everyone _ in all of those cosmos. It was only natural that they grow apart  _ some _ .  

That didn’t mean that she and Jane didn’t tear up margarita night every once in awhile.  It just meant that there were longer stretches between margarita nights. Which was probs for the best anyway, since Darcy couldn’t really hold them down like she used to.  Not since she had that blue drink with Peter on Knowhere.  She was totally going to blame it on that and NOT on the fact that she was approaching the big 3-0.  She was technically three years away from that, but she was closer to thirty than she was to twenty.

She glanced up at her much taller companion and glimpsed a slight smile cross her lips.  

“You excited to see everyone again?”  

“Those who are left…”  Sif replied, the smile turning slightly watery as she likely remembered her fallen companions.  The Warriors Three were greatly missed indeed.  Darcy reached over to take Sif’s hand, squeezing it lightly as the other woman took a deep breath to compose herself.  

The ship landed with a very loud creak.  One that Darcy hesitated to call a creak, it was so damn loud.  But a creak it was, as no bits fell off and squashed them.  

They approached the door, a dock on the side with heavy damage.  It looked like the deck had been straight up impaled by something, but that didn’t stop the ramp from coming out, pressing into the ground at their feet.  

The door opened, and Darcy let out the breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding.  

Thor stood there, as heroic as ever, if slightly shorn and battleworn.  

Darcy couldn’t help the smile that spread as her friend strode down the ramp towards them.  

She tried not to gasp when she saw the patch over his eye.  One like his father’s, if her memory served her correctly.  It would be stupid-rude to bring it up now, but she was totally going to file that away for later. 

She and Sif automatically knelt.  He was King Thor of Asgard now.  Proper respect must be paid.  Especially in front of his people. 

“Rise, please…”  Thor’s hand felt rough in hers as he helped them stand.  “Lady Darcy, Lady Sif… you have no idea how comforting it is to see friendly faces.”  

He hugged Sif first, arms wrapped around her as they stood still for a moment.  Sif patted his back roughly and he released her, sniffing once.  “I have missed you greatly, Sif.”  

“And I you, your majesty…”    

“Come now, none of that.  I won’t have you being  _ formal _ in my presence.”  He turned towards Darcy.  “And you, my lady?  How does this beautiful day find  _ you _ ?”         

“Super glad to see you again.” 

He reached for her, pulling her up into a bear hug.  One that lifted her from the ground as he squeezed.  “Are you eating well, my lady?  You do seem lighter…”  

“I still have that taser in my pocket you know…” Darcy reminded him with a smirk.  

He raised his hands in surrender.  Darcy took the opportunity to search his face.  He looked tired, but he was still Thor.  Still her friend.  Still the guy she’d checked out in a pair of tight jeans.  He was still him.  

She smiled widely.  “At ease, your majesty.”  

Rolling his… eye? He gestured back towards the ship, which was starting to rumble as rather large footsteps approached the door.  “I’ve brought friends with me.  Some new, some old… some…”  He turned towards the footsteps.  “Green.”  

Darcy’s eyes widened as the absolute last being she’d ever expected to see lumbered out of the ship and down the ramp.  “Are you  _ kidding _ me?” she asked no one in particular.  

Sif’s hand appeared on her shoulder, not to hold her back, but just as a measure of comfort.  It was appreciated, but Darcy wasn’t in the mood for calm right now.

“Oh hell no…” she muttered, stomping right up to the Jolly Green Abandoner.  Standing up at her full height, she poked him in the chest.  “I want to talk to my  _ dad _ , Big Guy.”  

He gave her a look.  That look she  _ hated _ .  The incredulous Hulk look.  “No  _ dad _ here.  Only Hulk.”

She raised her eyebrows.  “Listen, bud.  My dad’s in there, and you’re gonna let me talk to him.  Or… or…”  

“What will Darcy-Girl do?” Hulk asked, squatting down to be somewhat on eye level with her.  “Pinch Hulk?”  

“I will call MOM…” she hissed.  

The smirk fell right off Hulk’s face.  “You call…  _ Betty? _ ”  

“Yep, the one and only.  I will call Betty and she will be here in less than a day, Hulk.  Less than a day.”  

“Hulk  _ LIKE _ Betty,” he said, as if to dare her to call her mother.    

“Hulk like Darcy too,” she countered.  “But Betty  _ and _ Darcy both have the sneaking suspicion that you are the reason we haven’t seen either you  _ or _ Dad for two years. Care to elaborate, or would you rather if Dad dealt with it?”  

He growled, frowning and standing up.  He leapt over Darcy’s head, landing with a thump on the ground.  He roared at her, ruffling her hair and not phasing her in the slightest.  She shook her head. “Piss and moan all you  _ want _ , dude.  Just let me talk to my father!”  

Hulk curled up in a ball and grabbed his hair, rocking fitfully back and forth until he shrunk down into a size she was more accustomed to dealing with.  A more Bruce-size.  A more Dad-size.  

He yelped and thrashed on the ground, blinking in the sun as he looked around the field.  “Where am I?”  

“Somewhere in Norway,” she deadpanned.  “Welcome back to earth, Dad.”  

* * *

 

Loki peered out of the window of the ship.  He saw his brother conversing with Lady Sif and another woman he retroactively recognized as one of Dr. Foster’s former associates.  

Thor had told him he was meeting with Lady Sif and the diplomat she was assisting here on Midgard, but he hadn’t mentioned that he knew the latter.  Knew her well, to hear him talk of his time on this planet.  There was a reason for that.  His brother didn’t often pare information.  

He glanced over at the Valkyrie -- Brunnhilde, as he’d come to know her -- who didn’t seem even overtly interested in his brother’s diplomacy.  She was keenly eyeing a bottle of ale being passed around.  So she was no help at all.  

Korg and Miek were on the opposite end of the ship, not that their input would be particularly useful, which just left the large green brute.  Loki had spent the better part of this trip actively avoiding eye contact with Hulk and he wasn’t about to break his streak now.  

Not that it mattered, because Hulk was currently lurching out the door and down the ramp towards the trio at the bottom.  

The diplomat, the one Loki recognized, caught sight of the oaf and her eyes narrowed.  It wasn’t the typical response that Loki had noticed when beings encountered the Hulk, but then again, typical was boring.  

Sif’s hand rested on the other woman’s shoulder briefly, but she shrugged it off and stalked closer to the Hulk with what could only be described as a scowl marring her otherwise attractive countenance.  

He could have sworn he saw her eyes flash green as she addressed the beast, and he wished he’d followed the Hulk outside so he could hear what she was saying.  

The Hulk’s voice was a rumble, but his tone was apparent.  And ridiculous, given the circumstances.  Why, he was talking to this Midgardian woman as if he were… well… poking  _ fun _ at her?  

It was curious, indeed.  

The woman said  _ something _ , her lips twisting into a smirk as she crossed her arms over her middle.  Whatever she said, it made the Hulk’s back tense up.  

He said something else, and then  _ she _ must have delivered the killing blow, because the Hulk stomped and roared, leaping over her head and into the grass to have a temper tantrum.  Now, it would have been humorous if Loki wasn’t worried that he would now see this marginally attractive woman’s brains sprayed all over this lovely grass.  

That didn’t happen, needless to say, and the Hulk turned back into his alter ego.  

Loki felt a stir of something in his chest when he looked back at the woman again.  She was slight, barely as tall as Sif’s shoulder, with brown hair… long, if her hairstyle was to be trusted.  She was good looking for a Midgardian.  Made all the more attractive by her ability to subdue that beast.  

He watched her hold out a hand to Banner, helping him up off the ground as he used one hand to hold up his pants and the other to awkwardly reach out to pat her shoulder. 

“That was  _ something _ …”  Brunnhilde muttered from behind him, the wet suck of her lips on the glass bottle following.  “I have never seen  _ anyone _ do that to him before.”  She tapped his shoulder with the bottle, which he took without thinking, taking a sip from it as his eyes never left the woman.  

“ _ Something _ is a rather dull way of putting it,” he countered. “That was  _ incredible _ , and I must meet her.”  

The Valkyrie’s laugh was low as she took the bottle back from him.  “Something tells me she’s  _ too _ incredible for the likes of  _ you _ , Trickster.”  

Loki tore his eyes away from the incredible Midgardian to glare in Brunnhilde’s direction.  

“I’m only sayin’...” she shrugged.  “I think  _ everyone _ , save maybe the worst specimen of whatever Miek is… is too good for the likes of you.”

“Oh stop. You flatter me too much,” he sneered.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! Leave me some sugar down in the comments, pretty please? I have a hella sweet tooth. ;) <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EEEK. Sorry so long of a wait. My muse was being silly. 
> 
> BUT OMG THE RESPONSE TO THIS FIC! 
> 
> You guys are the best. I mean it. <3 <3 <3 
> 
> Here's chapter 2. With lots of feelings. So many feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. I own my mistakes. I love each of them like children. 
> 
> <3

Thor eyed his brother in amusement.  “You want me to introduce you to Darcy?”  

Rolling his eyes, Loki sighed.  “No, I don’t believe I will be requiring  _ your _ help in the matter. I simply wish to garner your support--”  

“My favor?  You wish to garner my favor in your  _ courtship _ \--”  The word was choked out on a laugh.  

“Not courtship, I don’t wish to court her, I wish to…”  

“Bed her?”  His brother’s…  _ eye _ was full of mirth.  A welcome sight that Loki hadn’t seen since they’d set off for earth from Asgard.    

Loki exhaled loudly.  “Please, forget I ever said a word…”  

“No, no… it’s fine, brother.  You have my support.  Not that  _ my _ favor is the one you should secure…”  

“I don’t wish to secure  _ your _ favor, I wish to secure hers.  For…  _ tactical _ reasons.”  

Thor bristled slightly.  “Loki, I’ll have you remember… Lady Darcy is highly esteemed here on Midgard.  She’s not some plaything for you to--”  

“I am well aware of what she is and what she isn’t,” Loki countered.  “She is able to quell the fury of the beast…” he nodded towards where she and Bruce were currently talking.  “She is one whose favor I cannot procure quickly enough.”  

“Ah…”  Thor nodded as if everything suddenly made sense.  “I see.”  

Loki, knowing he should likely just leave things as they were, but at the same time, not being able to accept Thor’s response, groaned audibly.  “What?  _ WHAT? _  What do you see?”  

“It just… this definitely seems more typical of you.  I had thought that perhaps you found yourself  _ smitten _ with a Midgardian, but it makes infinitely more sense that you would want something from her.”  

Loki wasn’t sure why that revelation stung.  It  _ was _ true.  And the truth shouldn’t hurt when applied in a manner such as this.  

But somehow, coming from Thor in this way?  It did.  It stung more than Loki was willing to admit.  

* * *

 

He rehearsed his greeting in his head as he approached her.  It was the perfect time, since Bruce had just left her company and meandered over to speak with Thor.  

Loki squared his shoulders, shaking off his nerves because he shouldn’t have any qualms about speaking to a Midgardian woman.  No matter how becoming she was in her form-fitting attire.  

She had something he wanted.  And he was certain he could find something in himself to offer as a trade.  His safety for information.  It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done this.  Nor the last.   

_ Greetings, mortal.  I am Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with… no.  No.  That’s no good, I tried that the last time I was here.    _

_ Greetings, Midgardian.  I am Loki of Asgard and I certainly hope you won’t judge me by my previous… no, no.  I shouldn’t draw attention to the fact that I was here trying to take over her home.   _

_ Greetings.  I am Loki of Asgard.  No.  That’s too cold… I…   _

He glanced up at her, realizing he had ceased walking and was standing directly in front of her.  _ And _ she was looking at him.  Peering, would be more accurate.  He opened his mouth and she held her hand up in front of her, pausing for a moment before pointing at him.  

“Loki of Asgard.  Let me guess, You are burdened with glorious purpose?”  

He laughed nervously.  “No, I’m not burdened by anything today…”  

She returned the laugh, her smile transforming what was a face of passable beauty into one of  _ remarkable _ beauty.  “I’m Darcy Lewis, Intergalactic Diplomat and resident monkey wrangler.”  

His eyes locked on hers and for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why he was here. What he wanted to say to her. So, he did what he did best.  He held out his hand and shook hers.  “Charmed, my lady.”  

A slight blush tinged her cheeks and she quickly withdrew her hand.  “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being addressed like that.  You Asgardians are a trip and a half.” 

He liked the blush.  It made her so very…  _ pink _ .  Which was an excellent colour for her to be.  He’d have to do everything in his power to keep her blushing in his presence.  

The thought surprised him as it passed through his mind and he cleared his throat before continuing.  “After everything your people are doing to help us, I’m sure that Asgard would live to serve you,  _ my lady _ .”  

Her blush deepened and Loki took great pleasure in that fact.  “What can I do for you, Loki?  An army of minions?  Government secrets?  Political asylum?”  

“Nothing so great as that…”  

“Because I know all about you, Lokes.  I know you’re the supposed ‘silver-tongued’ Prince of Asgard.  But I also know you’re adopted.  From Jotunheim.  Frost Giant stock.”  She reached over to smack his shoulder in a very familial way and it made him tense up.  Narrowing those blue eyes in his direction, she gave him the once over.  “You’re tall, but I wouldn’t say you’re a giant.”

“I see you’ve been speaking with Lady Sif…” he countered, crossing his arms over his chest and awaiting her response.  And a rundown of whatever Sif had told her about him.  It was all true, of that he had no doubt.  

“Lady Sif, your brother, my  _ dad _ … Uncle Tony…”  

“Your…  _ father _ ? I don’t recall ever meeting--” 

She smirked and tilted her head towards where Bruce was currently speaking with Valkyrie and Thor.  “Dr. Banner’s my father.”  

All the colour must have drained from Loki’s face, because Darcy was laughing again.  She patted his shoulder.  “It’s cool, most people don’t know. He and my mom never got married, and therefore, my last name is ‘Ross’ on my birth certificate.  I ended up taking my Grandma’s maiden name professionally though.  Because my Gramps is in the business of diplomacy as well, and I just… didn’t want to have to work in his shadow... ”  She was rambling, which told him it was a sore subject for her.  

He locked that nugget away for later and gulped, trying to compose himself.  “I wasn’t aware that Dr. Banner had progeny.”  

She snickered.  “I guess you could call me that… I’ve been told I’m more my mother’s daughter than my father’s, but I could think of a thing or three that might push me back into the Banner camp…”  

Loki pondered for a moment on what she could possibly mean.  The flashing green eyes being the obvious indication.  But she’d mentioned a thing…  _ or three. _

“Dude, I  _ know _ why you’re here,” she continued.  “You saw me talk down the big guy.  And I’ve seen the videos.  The big guy does  _ not _ like you.  But not to worry, he won’t smash you on my watch.”

“My lady, I’m sure there is something I could do–”  

“ _ I’m _ sure you don’t need to kiss my ass, okay?” 

He assumed it must have been a figure of speech, because that wasn’t what he was going to do at all.  Unless she asked.  He wasn’t opposed to the idea, but it wasn’t the first thing he’d thought of kissing.  

“Look, I just… might need your services once in awhile…” she trailed off and Loki’s eyebrows rose.  

“My services?  My, but aren’t you a brazen one?”  He smirked and she immediately began to backtrack.

“Oh.. geez.  No.  Not  _ those _ services.  I just…” Her face reddened considerably.  “That was unfortunate wording.  No.  I meant like… you can make clones of yourself, correct?  Read minds?  Mad knife skills?”  

Her expression was priceless.  His smirk deepened and he nodded.  “I can.”  

“S.H.I.E.L.D might have some need of  _ those _ services.  Not me.  Never me.  I don’t need any of your services, dude.  Okay?  No services.  I don’t need to be serviced, you won’t need to be servicing anything to do with me, okay?”  

He pressed his lips together before responding.  “I understand.  I am somewhat disappointed, the prospect of serving you was not unagreeable.”  

She swallowed thickly.  “Well.  Sorry ‘bout it, dude. We technically… kind of… work together. At least until I leave for my hotel room...”  

“When will that be?” he asked, allowing his voice to drip silk with every syllable.  

Her eyes raked over his face, even dipping down to take in his physique before mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like, “Not soon enough,” under her breath. Turning abruptly, she walked away towards where Lady Sif was currently speaking with a gathered group of Asgardians.  

Loki turned as well and swept back to his brother, a small smile gracing his lips because Darcy Lewis was exquisite.  Regardless of being Bruce Banner’s daughter.  

Let his brother accuse him of being a user _now_.     

* * *

 

Darcy’s skin was tingling by the time she got back to Sif.  She wondered absently if that was a side effect of being in the God of Mischief’s company.  Or perhaps it was the complete roller coaster of human emotion that she’d been on that day.  

Seeing Thor again.  Seeing Dad again.  Being angry at Dad, but at the same time, being happy to see him.  

Meeting Thor’s hot brother.  

Sif eyed Darcy as she approached, finishing up her conversation with the Asgardians before abruptly turning to face her.  “How went the reunion with your father?”

“Ehhhh, about as well as can be expected…” Darcy said with a shrug.  “I’m still not over him leaving for two years, but there’s no one I can really be mad at, so I’m dealing in the best way I know how.”  

Sif raised her eyebrows, shifting the conversation slightly.  Sif wasn’t Darcy’s bestie for nothing.  She knew how to direct a conversation.  “I saw you were speaking with Thor’s brother.”     

“Ha.  Yeah.  Guess you could say that.”  

“What did Loki say?  If he was hurtful, I will end him.”  Sif’s jaw clenched as her dark eyes searched the crowd for Loki’s green cape.  

Darcy laughed, waving her hand.  “Nothing he could ever say would  _ ever _ carry enough weight to hurt me. Besides, he was perfectly pleasant.  As pleasant as he ever is, I’d assume.”  

An amused expression replaced the perturbed one and Sif even ventured a smirk when she replied.  “What  _ did _ he say, then?”     

“I’m pretty sure he propositioned me?”  

Sif’s eyes widened.  “This… doesn’t surprise me.”  

“Me either, I figured he was kind of a… player type of dude.” 

She deliberately withheld the part where she’d propositioned him right back.  Kind of.  Under her breath in a mumbly sort of way.  She was still trying to figure that one out herself.

Sif chuckled.  “No, I just meant that you are a lovely woman.  And of quick wit.  I’d imagine it’d be hard for Loki to resist you.”  

“So you’re saying he has a type and I’m it?”  Darcy laughed out loud at that.  “Nooooo, I’m pretty sure he just wanted me to keep him safe from the Hulk.”  

“It’s possible to want two things,” Sif responded, a sly grin edging it’s way onto her face.

Boy howdy, did Darcy know  _ that _ .  And boy howdy, was she glad she hadn’t said that out loud. 

Instead, she reached up to clutch at her collar, a facetious lilt in her reply. “Are you sanctioning this, Sif?  I thought you disliked him. If dislike meant ‘loathe entirely’.”  

“I am  _ not _ sanctioning this. But if I told you to stay away from him, you’d do the opposite, wouldn't’ you?”  

Darcy snorted.  “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about anything like that.”

It wasn’t a lie.  Sif didn’t have to worry about Darcy.  She was a big girl.  She could take care of herself.  

“Loki can be very convincing.”  

“Yeah?  Well, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.”  

Also not a lie.  It didn’t matter that she wanted to do Thor’s brother.  Every which way. On the floor of her hotel room like a couple of rutting beasts. 

Sif smiled in this  _ knowing way  _ she had that made Darcy want to protest for whatever reason.  But she didn’t get a chance because there was a commotion over near Thor.  

There was that  _ sound _ in the air.  It sound like a lit fuse. Crackling and spitting.  And it grated her nerves in all the wrong places because the person who made that  _ sound _ was the last fucking person she wanted to see right now.  

Talk about killing a lady boner.

Darcy sighed and glanced up at Sif.  The two exchanged a knowing look as they crossed the grass field to where Thor and Valkyrie were standing, along with Heimdall, Loki,  _ and _ her father.  

Come to think of it, she probably shouldn’t be having a lady boner when her dad was present.  But the fact that she’d rather do ANYTHING but think about her dad being back on planet was probably something she should take up with her therapist.  Her therapist who wasn’t in Norway.  So that would definitely have to wait. 

In the meantime… she had to deal with the newcomer on the scene: Dr. Stephen Strange.  

“Stephen.  To what do I owe the pleasure? This is a long way from New York.” Darcy mused, swiftly bypassing his usual repartée. It was all very back-and-forth.  Carla-and-Cliff.  She didn’t want to get into it. She had neither the time nor the patience for Doctor Strange today.    

“Ms. Lewis…” He barely bowed his head in greeting.  “I see you are welcoming some… new arrivals…”    

“Refugees.  The big dudes knew they were coming, Darling-Face.”  

He rolled his eyes at the nickname, but barrelled forward.  “If can be frank…”  

“Dude, you can be whoever you want to be.  Frank. John. Paul… the list is endless, but it doesn’t matter, because no matter who you pick, you won’t be here bothering me any longer, so… ” She snapped her fingers rapidly as if to say, ‘get on with it, wind-bag’. 

He shot her a look before continuing.  “Ms. Lewis.  I simply would like to be informed the next time you welcome a known  _ threat _ onto our planet.”  

The passive aggression was strong with this one.

“Right.  In addition to my other duties, informing the _Grand_ _Magician_ …” She wiggled her fingers in front of her. 

“Master Sorcerer…” he corrected her.  

She rolled her eyes.  “Right.  In addition to  _ everything else _ I do on a daily basis, I will absolutely add informing  _ you _ to the list.  Informing some doctor-turned-Harry Potter is definitely on my agenda from now on.”  

“ _ Loki _ is a person of interest to me…”  He hissed, pointing his finger in Loki’s direction.  

Darcy smirked. “Look dude.  I know he’s hot and everything, but your thirst is showing.”  

Stephen chuckled darkly.  “It’s all very cute, Ms. Lewis.   _ Until _ he tries to take over the earth again.  He’s put all of us in danger before.  What’s to say there won’t be a repeat?”  

“As I recall, Steve-o… you weren’t interested in the safety of this planet until a few years ago.  As  _ I _ recall, you had your head too far up your own ass to even do your damn job and operate on Colonel James Rhodes.  You were worried he’d mess with your batting average, amiright, or am I wrong?”  

He stammered a little in his response. “I was…in a different mindset back then, I’ll admit --”  

“So, while you were wiping your ass with one hundred dollar bills and eating/saving endangered animals and driving your fancy schmancy doctor wheels, I was running through a desert assisting in the defense of  _ this _ planet from another one.  So the next time you feel the need to remind me of things I already know?  Remind yourself of that one. I get paid too much to be mansplained to by a dude who draws magical circles in the air.”  

It was so silent in that field that you could have heard a pin drop.  

He swallowed thickly before replying. “So you know about—”  

“About Loki’s tarnished past?  Of fucking course I do.  Don’t be dense.”  

“I’m only attempting to do the job entrusted to me, Ms. Lewis, as you are likely attempting as well.  I apologize if you feel I’ve shown you any disrespect…”  

“You show up unannounced and without my permission to a closed-off area. And this isn’t the first time. Also, that  _ wasn’t _ a real apology, and I’m getting tired of you, so if you could...”  

“How would you have me announce my presence?” he asked, blatantly ignoring the rest of her statement. Lucky for her, she had lifelong experience in dealing with difficult men.  Her Gramps took the cake for being difficult. 

“I dunno.  Can you cast a skywriting spell or something?  Send me an owl?”  

“It’s unnecessary to mock me… ”  

“Your  _ presence _ is unnecessary.  I’ll let you know if we need any rabbits pulled out of any hats.  Stephen, if any rabbits are magically stuck in top hats,  _ you _ are my guy.  Until then, ABC your way out of this country, please. Stick to New York. If Loki shows up in New York, you can ream me six ways to Tuesday.  Deal?”  

“Fine.  And for what it’s worth… I’m sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you… ” He coughed and disappeared in a shower of sparks. 

She groaned.  “Still not an apology, but at least he’s gone.  Needs to work on his manners, that one.”   

Thor chuckled.  “I was about to intercede on your behalf, Darcy.  But it quickly became apparent that I wouldn't need to.  You’ve replaced your taser with a very sharp tongue.  Well done, lightning-sister!”

Darcy shrugged slightly.  “I just hate it when people cross jurisdictions… Kind of my pet peeve, or whatever.  Like, rules are there for a reason, people.  And I still have my taser, just so you know…”  She trailed off and tried to regain control of her mouth.  “Okay… enough small talk, let’s get your people settled, Thor.”  

She completely missed the stars-in-the-eyes look that Loki was giving her.  Or maybe she  _ didn’t _ miss it.  But technically she was still on the clock and she couldn’t process any looks that man gave her until she wasn’t.  

Also, her dad was  _ right there _ .  She wasn’t entirely sure he’d be cool with her hooking up with a former smash-victim.  A well-deserving smash-victim, but a smash-victim nonetheless.  

She was having a lot of feelings.  Feelings that would have to be sorted out.

Not all at once, and definitely not right now.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some sugar? I love the sugar. Y'all are so good at leaving the sugar. Best sugar-leavers awards to each and every one of you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this starts to get kind of smutty towards the end, but there's a fade to black. 
> 
> NOT TO WORRY, I just thought it felt like a good stopping point. Chapter 4 will pick up RIGHT where this one left off, PROMISE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has been like SO EFFING LONG in coming. I really am sorry. 
> 
> I put a note in my profile here if anyone needs to know why it's taking me so long, but I will not abandon this fic. It's just taking me longer to get the updates up. <3
> 
> I love you guys and I hope you enjoy this chapter! I will TRY to get chapter 4 up soon. In the next week if I can. <3

Darcy sighed heavily, laying back on the bed.

It wasn’t the worst hotel bed she’d ever laid on. Not even the worst  _ bed _ .

But she wasn’t really comfortable. Mostly because she couldn’t take off her fucking bra until room service came by with the food she’d ordered. She didn’t know why she was like this, but it was kind of a little code she had. No letting the ladies free until she knew she wasn’t going to have to make nice with a stranger.

And the last stranger that was coming by her room was room service.

She wasn’t even all that hungry.

Not for  _ dinner _ , anyway. She’d just ordered a bowl of fruit and plugged into the wifi.

She was sort of nursing the hope that Thor’s hot brother was going to pay her a visit, but she wasn’t really one of those hopeless romantics, so if he didn’t come by, she wouldn’t be heartbroken. They’d kind of left things open-ended, after all.

And by open-ended, she meant that they’d kind of flirted around openly propositioning each other and then she’d left before they could really cement the plans. Brought a whole new meaning to the term ‘beating around the bush’.

She could have really used a good roll in the hay, after the day she’d had. And  _ before _ the day she was going to have tomorrow.

But it wasn’t likely to happen, and she really needed to shift her focus to other adulty things. The decidedly- _ not _ -fun-kind of adulty things.

She bit down on her bottom lip, her finger poised over her mother’s number.

Darcy knew she was going to have to call Mom. She was going to have to call her and let her know that Dad was back.

Why  _ Dad _ couldn’t do that, she didn’t know.

That wasn’t true. She knew why. Mom would probably have a heart attack and die if Dad called her out of the blue like this.

At least this way, Darcy could grease the wheels a little, so to speak. Ease her in before being all. “Yeah, Dad’s back, have fun with that.”

She sighed heavily and tapped on her Mom’s number. She thought to look at the clock about three seconds after the first ring. Luckily, Norway was six hours ahead of New York, or this might be a problem.

It was only about two in the afternoon there, which meant she caught Mom on the way out of her last class of the day.

“Hey Darce!” Betty said brightly upon answering.

Darcy couldn’t help but smile upon hearing her Mom’s voice. “Hey Mom…” she said, trailing off.

“How is it…  _ wherever  _ you are? I’m sorry I forgot where you are this week even though I know you told me…” Mom singsonged a little, stretching out the ‘refrain’ of her lyric until Darcy took pity on her.

She laughed a little before replying. “ _ Norway _ , believe it or not…”

“Norway! Oh, wow! Do you have time for sight seeing or are you doing top secret stuff you can’t tell me about?”

“No, no sight-seeing on the agenda…” Darcy trailed off. “Not that I haven’t seen some sights worth seeing…”

“Oh  _ really _ ?” Betty asked. “Do tell. Is/are he or she or they cute?”

Darcy swore she had the most supportive mother in the actual universe. “ _ He _ is. But he’s kind of… kind of not from here.”

“Not from… Earth?”

“Nope. From somewhere else, actually…” Darcy trailed off. “But I mean, I’m not sure if the thing we’re having is even a thing, really. Because. You know. Work.”

“Oh, right…” Betty trailed off. “Darce. Are you even allowed to talk about this with me on the phone? We can wait till you get back…”

“This is a secure call, actually…” Darcy said slowly.

“A secure call? Cheese and  _ rice _ …” Mom exclaimed. “Is everything okay? Are  _ you _ okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m okay. Everything’s fine. But I have something… kind of  _ surprising _ to tell you, unrelated to my intergalactic romances, so…”

“And it’s ‘secure-call’ worthy?” Betty asked, laughing a little bit, but Darcy knew her mother well enough to know her nervous ticks. And that laugh was one of them.

“Yeah…” Darcy swallowed thickly. “Mom, are you sitting down?”

“No, I’m walking to my office.”

“Well, maybe I’ll just wait till you get there…?”

“No, that’s silly. Just tell me now, Darcy Anne.”

Darcy sighed, trying to quell her nerves. Being middle named by one’s mother never ceased to crank up the anxiety to eleven.

“Mom… Dad’s back.”

She heard her mother sigh in relief. “Oh thank goodness, I thought you were going to tell me he was dead.”

Darcy chuckled softly and shook her head even though her mom couldn’t see. “No, he’s not dead. Just… back.”

“Can I see him or is he going into hiding?”

“We’re flying back tomorrow. He’s under SHIELD protection.”

“ _ Tomorrow _ , tomorrow?” Betty asked.

“Yes, I’ll email you the info before we leave… we don’t actually have a flight record since it’s the private jet, but…”

“Gotcha…” Her mom trailed off. “Darcy… did you talk to him?”

“Of course I did, Mom. He’s my dad.”

“What did he… what did he say?”

“He apologized. Said he was sorry for being gone for so long… and I had to like… wrestle him from the Other Guy to even talk to him… apparently he was just along for the ride.”

“That’s what I thought had happened…”

“Mom, you  _ know _ he wouldn’t leave you for so long if he had any other choice. He’s like… obsessed with you. It’s kinda gross, actually…”

She heard her mom laugh softly before speaking again. “Darcy, I love you, baby.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

There was a knock on her suite door at that time, so she had to end the call to go answer it.

“Mom, that’s room service, so…”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Darce. You  _ and _ Dad.”

“Yeah. Me and Dad.”

“Love you and be careful.”

“Love you too and I always am.”

Darcy ended the call feeling glad that she’d talked to her mom. She was actually smiling when she answered the door.

A smile which widened upon seeing who was on the other side. Looking sleek and slim in a solid black suit with one hand on the room service cart, the other in his hair. Loki. He was somehow exuding nonchalance, even though it was probably the thirstiest thing she’d ever seen anyone do.

She grinned and leaned against the doorframe. “You’re working for Marriott now? Guess they’ll hire just  _ anyone _ .”

Loki beamed right back, shrugging. “You’d be surprised what someone will do for a large tip…”

“What’ll  _ you _ do?” Darcy asked, smirking. “Not that I’m going to pay you, this is just banter… just so you know.”

He quirked an eyebrow before glancing down at the room service tray. “I thought I would serve you dinner, if you don’t mind…”

“Mind? I am two notches from insisting…” she replied, stepping to one side to allow him enough room to move through the doorway.

“My lady,” he replied, bowing his head before pushing the cart into the room, himself right behind.

She closed the door after him, watching as he removed the lid from the tray, revealing the bowl of fruit, which he eyed with amusement.

“Did you know I’d be visiting for dinner?” He reached down to pluck a grape from the top of the bowl. “This feels planned.”

Darcy shook her head. “I guess it might have been a touch of wishful thinking… given our earlier conversation.”

He popped the grape in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully as he glanced around the room. “Wishful thinking is my speciality. I work well with wishes.”

“What are you? Some kind of fairy god-person?” Darcy asked, raising her eyebrows. “Are you here to grant all my wild wishes and dreams?”

He reached for the button on his jacket, undoing it and shrugging it off his shoulders. “No, I’m not fae. Although, that’s not the first time I’ve been accused of it… nor the last, I’ll wager.” He was wearing black underneath the jacket as well. But somehow, it wasn’t quite as edgelord as one would assume. “I can only grant wishes within reason, but something tells me yours are currently well within both reason and my power to allow.”

His eyes were dark, watching hers. He plucked another grape from the tray and quickly closed the distance between them, his breath cool as it ghosted over her face. “Here.” He pressed the grape between her lips and she bit down, the tart juice and pulp exploding in her mouth.

She chewed, and he leaned closer, brushing his lips over hers.

Darcy smoothed her hands up his torso, over the rippling silk of his shirt. She toyed with the top button, undoing it before moving down to the one below it.

“Impatience is rarely rewarded,” Loki breathed, but did nothing to stop her from unbuttoning his shirt all the way down to his navel.

His pale skin stood in stark contrast to the black silk. A sliver of light that lead up to his throat, a place Darcy longed to kiss, but held off for now.

If she went at him like a rabid animal, he’d have the upper hand. And while Loki looked like the type of guy who enjoyed and was used to the upper hand, she liked relinquishing it bit by bit.

She licked her lips and took a step back from him. “What kind of rewards are we talking about?”

He was smiling wickedly, about to speak again, but she stopped him in his tracks by ripping open her button up, revealing her very nice, very pushed-up, very lacy bra. “Because I’m willing to bet they’re still in effect, right?”

Loki took his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment, worrying it back and forth as he drank in the sight of her. More specifically, the sight of her breasts in what was probably her favorite bra.

She grinned widely, and he snapped his fingers, all of his clothing disappearing as he stepped closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close.

“Ooo, I like that trick. Does it work on me?”

His hand moved up to her hip, deftly finding the hidden zipper on her skirt and tugging it down.

She shrugged off her shirt, and stood there before him in her bra and panties. “Guess that works too.”

“Is removing  _ your _ clothing with a snap of my fingers really a skill you wish I had? Why I could undress you anytime I wished…”

“I can see how that could possibly be a problem…”

“Especially now that I’ve seen you undressed. I believe nudity suits you, Ms. Lewis…”

“I’m not fully nude yet,” she reminded him, reaching for her panties. “But I could be.”

“Soon…” he murmured, reaching for her hands and squeezing them.

She could feel the straining length of him pressing against her hip, and as his lips found hers once more, she rocked towards him, only to have him move away, tugging on her hand as he led her closer to the bed.

His skin was pale, but so smooth he appeared sculpted. He was lithe, but toned. Every part of him looked like it had been crafted with  _ her _ in mind, as self-centered as that sounded. Everything. From his toes to his nose.  _ Everything _ in between.

She longed to run her hands over his skin. Touch him everywhere. Wrap her fingers around his impressive cock and make him beg her for more.

But she could tell Loki had something else in mind.

“Go sit on the bed, do not remove your underclothes,” he said, a slight hitch in his voice as he watched her comply.

“Dude, I think me undressed is the end goal, right? I know this bra is nice, believe me, but what’s underneath--”

“I believe I promised I’d  _ feed _ you,” he interrupted, his voice low and rasping, his gaze raking up and down her body like he wanted to devour her.

And regardless of how much Darcy wanted his hands on her now, she wanted whatever he was promising with those dark eyes of his.

“Okay,” she said, scooting back against the headboard. She bent her knees and relaxed against the pillows. “ _ Feed me _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me something sweet in the comments if you liked it! Your comments are giving me LIFE, no joke. I come back and reread them when I'm having a bad day. I love you all so so much, and I wish I was better at updating for you! <3


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